The Place of Arbitration in Peace-making

“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector” Matthew 18:16-17

A brother who is a businessman told me how he had felt defrauded by another brother to whom his firm had contracted jobs, but who did not deliver what had been promised. But the other brother did not agree that he had defrauded him. They did not reach an agreement.

Last week we saw how the first step to resolving differences with our brother is to “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.”  But there are times when you have done everything to sort things out ‘just between the two of you’ and still there is no agreement. That is why the Lord says, we need to bring others in at this stage.

It is important that we understand how the Lord measures reconciliation. Notice that the Lord says ‘If he listens to you, you have won your brother over’. Reconciliation is not conditioned on the fact that the offender has changed, but rather on the fact that ‘he listens to you’ – that means that both of you have come to view the offence in the same way; he accepts his fault and you accept yours. This doesn’t mean he may not hurt you again. This is why the Lord goes on to teach in the next passage on the importance of forgiving our brother ‘seventy times seven’.

But there are occasions when the two parties are unable to come to an agreement about their differences between the two of them. Sometimes married couples find themselves in this situation. They have tried all they can to resolve their differences between themselves, without an agreement. The Lord says they need to get one or two others to help them. Since the goal is reconciliation it is advisable to bring in only those whom the other party would feel comfortable with, as having their best interest at heart, or else it would look as if you are gathering your supporters against him. And  rather choose spiritually minded believers, not worldly people, even if they are your relatives. Too many times believers make the mistake of seeking the help of those who do not fear or love the Lord, to help them sort out their conflicts, because they are ‘experts’. One dear couple told of how when their marriage was falling apart they had sought the help of a highly recommended psychologist, and after several sessions, his advice to them was to divorce.  So let it rather be spiritually mature people, who can seek the Lord’s mind and glory in the matter. Also it is crucial that by the time you involve others, you have already told your brother all of his fault ‘just between the two of you’ and that you do not bring up new issues at this point when the matter is before others. If properly done and with the right attitude, many times even the toughest issues will be sorted out by this time.

But if they are not, the Lord does not instruct us to discard that relationship, but rather to take it to our spiritual leaders in the body – the church. A believer is not supposed to take his brother to court (1 Cor. 6:1-6), instead we are to request the church leaders to serve as arbitrators between us and our brother even in big disputes where both of us have not found agreement after going through the earlier two stages. In cases where you come from two different assemblies this may involve bringing  in leaders from the two groups. But when a so-called brother will not accept what these leaders decide, then the Lord says ‘treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector’.  This does not mean we stop loving him (for we are called to love even the pagan!), but it means that we will pray for him as if he is an unbeliever, asking the Lord to cause him to yield to him. Also in such a case, if our conscience permits us, we could take him to court, if it is really necessary. Of course, if it is our spouse, it doesn’t mean we can divorce, because the Bible does not teach believers married to unbelievers to divorce.(1 Cor. 7:12 – 17)

Notice then, that it is only after the dispute has been unsuccessfully dealt with by the Church, that we are permitted to cut off fellowship with the other party. So it is wrong in any other circumstance for a believer to cut off fellowship with another.

In conclusion, George Verwer is so correct when he said, ‘Where two or three of the Lord’s people are gathered together, sooner or later there will be a mess.’  Yes things get messy in relationships, but God calls us to be peacemakers who are willing to pay the price to restore and nurture fellowship. God wants to teach us how to work out miracles through the messes of troublesome relationships.

Go out in Joy and be led forth in Peace

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts…singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord’ ~ Colossians 3:15-16 (NIV 2010)

We can look back now at what we have gathered from Isaiah 55 in the last two articles. The issue of getting our expectations right has to do with focussing our vision (our eyes), and that of getting our hearts right has to do with focussing our hearts. Now, this final exhortation from the last two verses of Isaiah 55 has to do with focussing our minds. Isaiah 55:12-13 says;

12 You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
13 Instead of the thorn-bush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure forever.”

God does not promise that the days ahead will be trouble-free, but he promises to make the mountains of troubles and the hills of challenges to burst into song before you. Also that the tall trees of distractions will not succeed in hindering your advance, but instead they will clap their hands as they cheer you on into all of God’s will for your life.

He promises that the days ahead will not be days of labouring and producing a harvest of thorns. He promises that instead of the thornbush you will have a harvest of juniper. Whereas the thornbush is useless and a symbol of wasted labour, the juniper is a very useful type of tree widely distributed throughout the Northern hemisphere from which men have found a wide variety of benefits from culinary to medicinal uses. It symbolises healing, strength, athleticism, and fertility. God’s will is to make you strong and fertile. He wants to quicken every barren area of your life and grant you increased usefulness and fruitfulness. Instead of being a prickly brier, he promises to turn you into the myrtle that remains evergreen no matter what the weather is like.

These are glorious promises. But there are some things that have to be present in us for these things to follow. ‘You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace’ comes before these other manifestations. What comes first is important. It is as we go out daily in joy and are led forth by the peace of God that these things will happen. It is a pre-requisite to the manifestation of these promises. There are two important things that God has given us that we must guard jealously day by day if we desire to see all these glorious promises fulfilled:  namely, the joy of the Lord and the peace of the Holy Spirit. We must choose to walk every day in his joy no matter what happens and to let his peace lead us. His joy comes from his presence in us and does not depend on our circumstances. The peace of the Holy Spirit in our spirit-man is the primary way he leads his children. We must not lose his joy or his peace.

Now that is easier said than done! You cannot imagine the kind of intense struggle I have had in the past few days of this New Year in maintaining a walk in joy and peace. The enemy will fight a battle to steal our joy and peace through minor irritations and major catastrophes, so it is going to be challenging to walk consistently in God’s joy and be led by his peace. But it is possible if we depend on him. When Moses was faced with failure after his first visit to Pharaoh brought increased hardship for the Israelites, he did what we all have to learn to do: He returned to God (Exodus 5:22). In the face of discouragements let’s make it a habit to turn to the Lord immediately and not allow our joy or peace to be stolen. There is a battle for our minds. Will we count it all joy or will we roll over and swim in discouragement? Whatever it will take to rest in the Lord and keep his joy and peace, then do it. If you have to sing out loud at the top of your voice to hold onto your joy then do it. You see, if the devil cannot steal your joy, he cannot prevent these promises from being fulfilled in your life. So guard your joy and your peace at all costs.

Rest, Don’t Fret

“… do not fret—it leads only to evil” Psalm 37:8 (NIV)

No matter what life may bring, we must avoid anxiety like the plague. It is not good for the heart to fret; it brings too much stress to the soul. We must recognise anxiety as the enemy that it is and give it no space. It comes to steal, kill and destroy. It comes to destroy every trace of peace that abides within. It distorts vision and paralyses fruitfulness. It distracts and dissipates. “Be anxious for nothing…” is not a suggestion but a command – a call to arms! For no heart can bear anxiety and remain healthy.

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

Isaiah 26:3-4 (NIV)

The heart must always be at rest in God. It’s not good for the heart to be restless or fretful. It is harmful to our spiritual health. Our minds must be stayed on God. Our souls must continually gaze on him. Any pose of the soul that clouds that gaze is an enemy, no matter how helpful it may look.

The call to follow Christ is a call to walk consistently in his deep-seated peace no matter how the winds blow. We must set the sail of our soul to walk in that peace. Abide in his peace. Guard your heart with all diligence. It is much more important that our hearts are at peace – rested in God than for us to get what we want. Cease from striving and rest. Be still and know that he is the Lord. It is not your responsibility to have everything under control. It is enough to know God is in control. It’s our privilege to rest in God. Whether you face a mountain or a valley – fret not, but rest. Let hell do its worst but note this: they will not prevail against you. Don’t fret; just rest!

The way of peace and victory is to stay our hearts on God – “those whose heart is stayed on you” (KJV). The NIV renders that as “whose mind is steadfast”. The double-minded cannot receive anything from God.

If anxiety comes in like a strongman, don’t delay but flee to Jesus and cast your cares upon him for he cares for you. The most important action a believer can take is this – to ABIDE. Abide in him then beloved – trusting, looking up to him, hearing him, obeying and waiting on him. You will not be disappointed.